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Friday, April 3, 2009

Apology

You are the calm of my days
Like a light in life, alive in every breath
Like the passion of the rain
Mellow in an unforgiving storm
You are every moments delight
*
Whereas I,
I am a cold and cynical man,
Bitter in my ways struggling against odds
Always seeking that I would never find
Pretensions beyond living in lies
But beyond the mask of a happy face
Laughter and a comic gait
Much unlike the rose of your stride
*
I realized, that I am but nothing
Even a stray is loyal, and I am unworthy
I brought you nothing that I promised,
And wrecked only sullen grief
You deserve a lot more, a lot better.
*
Though I know I lie beyond forgiveness
I am sorry for being the biting pebbles on your path
Perhaps the single cloud against your clear horizon
Or worse, the curse that threatened to tear your life.
I hope for the day that I could but tell you
Even if I choked on my words, died
I’d never redeem me act, it’d still be a lot less
My life be yours and yours to take
*
No matter how many hours that goes by
My thoughts gaze the silence in regret
Think of me the shallow fool
Walk away and look back no more
Condemn me for all I have never known
*
And I shall promise you
That without your sunny demeanor
I’d be but the rose that withers
And in my last breath, I would nevertheless say
That all my happiness lies in your simple smile
Blessing me like the child in a gentle caress
No matter how time fades away; where, how or why
I'll be here, begging my forgiveness, from you
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Raw
When most look back on their time they find there is a lot to regret on and a lot smile for. When I looked back on mine, I found no regrets, no memories, no smiles. Strangely, I found a lot to apologize for. I cannot help but wonder, If I were the man I am today, would I still come to do those deeds and someday choke on my arrogance and wish I'd have apologized?

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