Tuesday, June 3, 2014

My heart goes to Ukraine...

I've been following the crisis and the situation between Russia and Ukraine. Don't give up... the world is watching.


Women of Ukraine. Please don't go baring your breasts protesting, banging the India flag on the embassy claiming "we're are not prostitutes!". Its quite counter productive. Not helping your cause at all, trust me. But my heart goes out to you,  and I had a nice laugh.

I'm quite the comic,  and this is already in joke form. It can't get better than this.

Don't come to Picadilly I

Located in Goregaon East, Mumbai; Royal Palms is like an oasis in the concrete desert that is Mumbai. Amongst the many hundreds and thousands of bodies, where can you find peace and solace but the amongst the lush greenery and hillocks of Aarey Colony.

But unfortunately my paradise has been sullied.

Picadilly 1, an erstwhile building that belonged to my alma mater until the tragic suicide of a budding film maker tripping on acid. Since then it has come into the hands of the estate mafia's each controlling the ever rising prices and rent turning the oasis into an ocean of fleeting bills. Even then, I had no complains since I gained possession of my flat. My three years in my room has been a long awaited bliss. Until now.

It gets worse. All because of a certain body of bitches all lead by a single frog sitting on pad, one eye east, the other west and believe me she has dared to tarnish my happiness.

Right after I paid off my maintenance bill, I was out of town visiting my folks up north. A new lift construction started right next to my apartment. Entire days of drilling, THUMP THUMP THUMPS right when I put my nose to the grindstone in my failing attempt to write.

No, it still gets worse. A nice electricity awaited me after a month of this very construction. Now, allow me to point that my bill has never gone beyond $50 (3000 INR) at the max. Even when I banged my 1.5 ton split air conditioner 24 by 7, played music with two running laptops and a ps3, a refrigerator. I know, its a good sum. However, ever since the construction started my bill went to a whopping $170 (10200 INR). Not to mention there is a suspicious wiring between the electricity panel and the panel next to the construction.

When I attempted to make sense of this, the management turned me around and asked me to take it to the electric company which is Reliance. They also asked me to come back later with my woes. What good is this management when it does not take care of the people living in the building. They're obviously just here to fuck the residents out of their money.

The next day, the security guards barged on my door asking me to turn down the volume to my music. This has never happened because there are barely any families in the building. Most of the people here are bachelors or single working stiffs. A few couples here and there. I doubt anybody has complained... knowing the raucous film makers residing here, the wannabe actors all of whom work hard and party harder. I know how much music and laughter I have lived through in the nights which were never lonely for those very reasons.

But who would pay that exorbitant electricity bill, suggestive of 832 units which is impossible for a single condo flat and all the appliances put together to be spent. I'm going to pick a bone with both the company and the management tomorrow. They're going to screw me over, for sure.

THIS MEANS WAR! I put the warning here, simply. I hope the cross eyed blood suckers know whats coming...