This has been bothering me for a while now so I'm going to just let it spill. Take a knee -
(PLAY THIS AS YOU READ)
From Laughter, to Drunkenese to Fights!
So I'm out with my friends drinking. Its always the same set up. We drink some beers, we laugh. We drink more beers, we kid. We drink even more now, and now the jokes are just brash. We go out and live it up - till some buttwad ruins it for you. Why?
Why does it get territorial when people are just out there to have fun. Fun is good, fun is harmless. Fun never breaks glasses, make commotion or stick you in the face. I mean millions of years of evolution and we still end up acting like Gorillaz. Not the AWESOME BAND. Real time Fuzzy APES.
Here are my top 5 lists:
1. I'm just 19 and a girl asks me for my number at a cultural fest party, how lucky do I feel? However her boy friend tried to get her away for a dance, SHE refuse on the pretext she's talking to me. Thrice! God level convo too. I recite a poem and she takes a famous name, and I'm like no,me! :BIG SMILE: So he rounds up his friends and chases me with machetes. My own mates are holding my arms as I get punched in the face. Its not cool! If you wanna back out, DON'T HOLD ME BACK!!!
So what do I do?
What do you mean what do I do? RUN. Stop. Pick up a rock. Chuck. Run more.
Aww, don't go sad. They just chased me till I ended up with two broken bruised ankles till they lost me and I ended up walking home.
2. I'm 21, friend of a friend has a girl friend who claimed she was abused and violated by an ex till we all ended up getting involved. When we came out to check on the perpetrator - mind you our objective were words exchange and to figure how it came to this - he has plans. OMG! He's 16 and he's 5 feet tall.
I turn to my friend and I'm like was I this short then?
He pulls out a big ass phone and a Labrador. I LOVE DOGS. Hey there cootchie cootchie big brown eyes :more baby talk: Ummmm, Andy! The kids trying to intimidate you, not give you a cuteness attack.
We are surrounded by 5 bruisers on Bikes.
Outnumbered, and there are just two takers. Me and my best mate.
Bruisers = 6 feet tall, BULKY and Muscular.
I got lucky again. Knocked out the big bad wolf in one JAB. Almost peed my pants, but I got lucky.
Wait a minute. Where's the drinking involved here. Oh. It was just me. I mean I'm outnumbered and I'm still standing there waiting and wondering what's about to happen. Guess who snuck in a bottle of rum in the back pocket. Talk about dutch courage.
3. Chappies who wanna date the sister but get together with friends and get high and fuck around with the brother for a laugh. Chances are the brother is going to come back drunk with a friend called Hoolio who happens to be a NUNchuk. Nuff said.
4. Guys on the streets, on bikes eve teasing Women. Guess again buddy, you might think its cool to chuck water balloons at white shirts till they pick up ROCKS and aim for your tyres. LOL! They're entitled to self defense and you're lucky if you don't get busted or crack your skull.
Girls. Seriously. I don't like it either, don't waste your time on Pepper Sprays : Use your DEO spray. Bugger deserves damage, not a skin rash.
Don't waste time on Self defense and Jutsu and Crab Maga your Ball. Pick up a Rock. Or get your kids brothers bat and saw it off till it fits your purse or better yet fill purse with coins and loose change and slam it in his head! Even a scarf or a hanky works!
5. The Lame Drunk Guy at the Bar.
You strike out. Take a hint. Walk it off! You don't look cool talking the talk in drunkenese with two guys At your Back!
Now personally, I don't like fighting! I just don't! I don't know why but in all these scenarios I just learnt one lesson. Guy baring his teeth, knuckles up is not equal to Being a Man. He's hiding his shame! In Denial! Seriously now.
I hate pulling a punch. But I like RAGE.
Rage has a voice. A word is enough. And there is reason seen in that.
So next time, think again and don't get inspired by those awesome movies. They're just movies. In life,
Risk = Reward
A good mate gave me that equation. Don't trust anybody either. Not your friends, family maybe and respect those who are standing with you. Chances are they don't want a fuck up. Drink, laugh and live it up. Everything else loses out in the long run and in this life its better to have fewer bad memories.